As men, we must confront a stark reality:
The sexual marketplace has undergone a seismic shift from the one that our fathers and grandfathers played in.
Hypergamy— women seeking a man with higher social status and/or resources, because they are “survival creatures”—does remain a key factor when it comes to their attraction and selection.
But its expression has evolved in ways that can leave us feeling disoriented and unsure of how to navigate the modern dating landscape.
Today, more and more women don’t strictly need men for financial support and/or status, as they can achieve these independently easier than ever. More than ever women are outpacing men in college and corporations.
This shift is transforming traditional hypergamous dynamics. Whether they want this dynamic shift or not at a core level is a separate conversation, and more and more women may revolt in time.
In the future, money and/or status will likely become more of an added benefit and not so much of a necessity they’ll be willing to sacrifice their “higher priorities” for.
While most women will still take these things—they’re still materialistic consumers and having access to more money is never a bad thing—they’ll increasingly be free to explore whatever it is that they think they want out of a relationship with a man.
This exploration might include not choosing a man at all.
They may choose to be single, engage in relationships but with no qualms about cheating, embrace polyamory, and more.
There’s a strong case to be made that women “satisfying hypergamy” may even lead to polygamy going mainstream—women being willing to share the highest status of men with other women.
Shifting sexual marketplace dynamics could lead to changes in laws as society adapts.
Additionally, the expectations of marriage and children are no longer automatic or universally desired, further impacting how hypergamy plays out. Hypergamy, in large part, is rooted in a woman securing resources for her future children.
Now more than ever, women have greater autonomy and shifting priorities. For better or worse, they are in large part driving the bus.
Economic Power + Social/Cultural Power = Increased Sexual Marketplace Power
While we humans will still have our reptilian brains, which will continue to influence desires, behaviors and overall relationship dynamics for years to come, women are shifting further away from the classic “cavewoman” survival-driven impulses that necessitated Hypergamy 1.0 to begin with.
This shift will also impact their social behavior.
As the necessity for pure survival becomes less central, women can place greater emphasis on social dynamics they feel promote their evolving sense of personal satisfaction and emotional connection vs. “being social” merely for the sake of securing safety and resources.
Consequently, social interactions may become more focused on what they consider genuine connections that support their “personal growth,” reflecting a broader change where their sense of psychological fulfillment plays a larger role (which could lead to them choosing men less).
This doesn’t mean we as men should abandon traditional masculinity.
Despite the rapid changes driven by social media, shifting societal norms, and evolving gender roles, the core principles of timeless wisdom, including biblical principles, remain as relevant as ever.
There will still be a significant number of women who want traditional things.
And even more modern women will still have hardwiring that is attracted to the basics.
(And in time, Hypergamy 2.0—more psychological than purely physical—may come crashing down, due to economic factors, women revolting, etc. And more traditional men will there be ready and waiting).
Marriage and children, a traditionally masculine man that provides—these desires will persist.
That said, even more traditional relationships will be challenged by modern stressors, such as women seeing men online they think could satisfy their hypergamy better than their current man.
Navigating today’s landscape now involves grappling with instant gratification, digital interactions, and the evolving relationship expectations of women.
And, as a knock-on effect, evolving relationship expectations for men.
By understanding these changes, we can better adapt our strategies to align with both our personal goals and contemporary norms.
Knowing what we as men want is crucial, but it’s more challenging than ever.
The paradox of choice—where having more options can lead to less satisfaction—complicates this process. In a world of endless possibilities, it’s increasingly difficult to pinpoint our desires as we are constantly wired to seek better relationship situations (the endless scrolling phenomenon).
Women aren’t the only ones that may opt for more unconventional relationship dynamics.
Casey is working to stay ahead of the curve with new offerings such as the Level Attraction Series and the upcoming Illusions of Value. His flagship courses, LOW and MBT, offer foundational insights into traditional masculinity.
Through these products, Casey is attempting to bridge the gap between timeless principles and weird modern realities.
It’s a lot to process, but thoughtfully adapting to all of the changes can hopefully help us men stay grounded and effective in our approach to dating and relationships.
In the evolving sexual marketplace, the constant barrage of choices, shifting norms, and digital distortions can make it feel like the very fabric of “genuine connection” is being torn apart.
So while the game never ends, let’s carve out a little room for some compassion for those on both sides of the gender aisle. In large part, women didn’t ask for this.
They didn’t ask for post modernism or 5th wave feminism or an insatiable economy that increasingly demanded everyone be in the work force.
The pressures of modern dating and the constant influx of options can significantly impact mental health. And the paradox of choice often results in heightened anxiety and lower self-esteem, as individuals grapple with decision paralysis and fear of missing out.
Social media exacerbates these issues by showcasing idealized images and comparisons, which can distort self-perception and amplify feelings of inadequacy.
Navigating these challenges requires both awareness and resilience, balancing the pursuit of meaningful connections with realistic expectations.
As men, our challenge is to adapt to these changes while staying true to core principles of masculinity.
By understanding the shifting dynamics and maintaining a balanced perspective, we can navigate this complex landscape more effectively and maybe even find fulfillment in our relationships.
Leave a Reply